


Do Re Mi... Don't Kill Me

by FunnyWings



Series: Psych/Supernatural Crossover Series [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Are they fighting or is it sexual tension, Case Fic, Cops, Dean pretends to be psychic, F/F, F/M, Funny, Gen, Humor, Karaoke, M/M, Psych - Freeform, Psychic AU, Singing Competition, cop!Charlie, cop!cas, murder attempts, psych au, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 05:50:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6503452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunnyWings/pseuds/FunnyWings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester has convinced everyone at the SBPD that he is psychic. When celebrity and judge on the popular American Duos, Marve St. Michael, is the almost victim of a series of accidents, it's up to Dean, Sam, and Officer Charlie Bradbury to find out what's going on and put a stop to it by going undercover within the show. Meanwhile, Officer Castiel Novak is working the case from the outside, and somehow ends up getting roped into helping Charlie and Dean prepare for their performance in the singing competition. Will they be able to save Marve? Will Dean ever stop trying to embarrass his little brother? Is this summary perhaps getting a little too long? Read on to find out.</p><p>This takes place a few weeks after the events of I Know You Know That I'm Not Telling the Truth. I think you can still read it on its own, but I still highly suggest you check out the original fic, if you haven't already.</p><p>Base on the episode American Duos from Psych.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do Re Mi... Don't Kill Me

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to start out by saying thank you for all the comments and encouragement I got on I Know You Know I'm Not Telling the Truth. If you took time to leave a comment or kudos, you rock!
> 
> I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep writing "episodes" like this, with maybe another multi chapter arc thrown in for a big bad at some point. So this series will continue, it just might take me a bit to think of ideas.
> 
> Anyways, thanks and I hope you enjoy!

Mary set up the camera, making sure that her two boys couldn’t see her, and tried to stifle her laughter as she filmed from around the corner. John looked up from his newspaper and raised an eyebrow. She flicked her head slightly so he got up and looked to see what she was watching.

“… Mine's a tale that can't be told, my freedom I hold dear.  
How years ago in days of old, when magic filled the air.  
T'was in the darkest depths of Mordor-“

“Stop,” Sam commanded. Dean was stood in front of him as Sam sat on the couch and scribbled on a notepad. He looked at the notepad for a long time as Dean waited. John looked to Mary to see what was happening but she just held a finger to her lips and tried to stifle quiet laughter.

“Sam, if you’re gonna be the judge you have to actually say something.”

“I’m thinking,” Sam said sullenly, before putting back on a thoughtful face and looking through his nonsense notes. “Okay, I didn’t like you’re song choice-“

“What?” Dean demanded, instantly defensive. What had just come out of Sam’s mouth amounted to blasphemy as far as he was concerned.

“I’m the mean one right now,” Sam pointed out, which explained his atrocious attempt at an accent. Mary covered her mouth to hold back her snickers and John realized what they were doing and couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. “And you were really bad. Like killing a dog bad.”

“Can you switch to the nice judge now, Sam?”

“Okay. I like your shoes,” Sam said, trying to pitch his voice higher. “And you have lots of energy.”

“I’m not wearing shoes.”

“But that’s what she says-“

“Skip to the last one then.”

“Okay. You were really pitchy, dawg.”

Even John had to start working to not burst out laughing at this point.

“I don’t think I like this game anymore, Sam.”

“No wait, I have to tell you whether or not you made it.”

“Okay fine, go ahead,” Dean said crossing his arms, clearly fed up with the six year old in front of him. Sam consulted his notes again and then looked up, doing an imitation of each judge. Each one telling Dean that they were going to say no. Sam barely got through the last one before his brother was chasing him out of the room and John and Mary finally started laughing to themselves uncontrollably.

“Maybe we shouldn’t let them watch American Idol anymore,” John said when he’d finally calmed down a little. It was nice to laugh like that. Afternoons like this were hard to come by with Mary having to spend a great deal of time at an office for her job- which was at least better than when she’d been in the field and had had to travel all the time- and his own job keeping him away at odd hours.

“Are you kidding? This is comedy gold. Just wait until one of them starts dating.”

“You’re evil, you know that?” John asked his wife. Mary smiled and leaned in for a light peck on the lips. “It’s a good thing you can cook so well.”

“Is that the only reason you keep me around?” Mary joked. John shook his head smiling down at his wife fondly.

“Of course not, Mary. Now I’m going to go stop Dean before he kills Sam and you can figure out how to hide that video from the boys.”

“Don’t worry, they’ll never know until it’s much too late.”

*********PRESENT DAY*************

“Hey Benny, how’s it hanging?” Dean asked pulling up a chair to the bar. Benny smiled and passed him a glass.

“Fine, brother. Haven’t seen you in a while. You been alright?”

“Fine,” Dean said, with a shrug. “How’s this place been holding up without me?”

“Less mirrors break, that’s for sure.”

“Please, like you wouldn’t hit this.”

Elizabeth snorted as she passed by to serve someone else up a drink. Neither she nor Benny took Dean very seriously, and it was one of the reasons he enjoyed going there. Plus, it was always nice to find places where the people who worked there treated each other like family. Even if in Benny and Lizzy’s case, they were.

“I say something funny, Lizzy?”

“Oh, nothing darling,” she said. “Benny, you going to charge your friend for drinks this time?”

“I ain’t the one who gave him a free piece o’ pecan pie, now, am I?”

Dean grinned as he listened to the cousins bickering and checked his phone to see that Sam had just arrived and was on his way in. He checked his messages from Charlie but didn’t have anything new, so he texted her to get moving. She sent back an emoticon of a middle finger sticking up, which Dean was pretty sure didn’t exist. Charlie must have coded it.

“Sam,” Dean called when he saw his brother walk in. “I think Charlie’s on her way.”

“Did she say how far she was?” Sam asked after letting Benny know what he would be drinking.

“Nope.”

Sam shrugged and ordered himself some fries to pick at while the two of them waited for Charlie to get there. It was probably better this way anyways, because from the one or two times he’d been out drinking with Charlie before, he was aware that she had a problem with getting competitive about keeping up on the number of drinks, which didn’t exactly fly when he and Sam had sixty pounds on her.

“What’s up, bitches?”

Dean turned to hug Charlie and froze when he saw that Novak was standing behind her.

“Cas. Hey,” Dean said, wondering when his voice had gotten so high. “Didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Blame Charlie,” he said, sounding thoroughly annoyed.

“I needed a designated driver,” Charlie said with a shrug. “Can I have a beer?” she asked Elizabeth, who passed her a glass as Charlie sat down next to Sam. Novak tactfully took the seat next to her, the farthest seat from Dean. The message was pretty clear. He wasn’t here to ruin the night or pick a fight, he was here because Charlie asked him to be.

Everything was going great, with Charlie managing to get a little tipsy after a few beers before she started complaining about how her room mate had been on her case about staying up late to play video games.

“I don’t even shout or anything. Most of the time, y’know, unless some asshole thinks they can just shoot me even though we’re on the same fucking team. But really, I’m quiet. She says the light bugs her, and I told her she didn’t have to sleep in the living room then, but apparently natural light is a better way to wake up or something. Have I mentioned she hates my alarm clock?”

“Why don’t you just move the tv into your room?”

“How else would she watch Real Housewives of Miami reruns?” Charlie said, clear judgment in her tone.

“What? She watches Real Housewives of Miami? Jesus Christ, everyone knows that Real Housewives is best in Dallas.”

“You worry me sometimes, Dean.”

It wasn’t long after that that the pace Charlie had been drinking at caught up to her and she passed over tipsy right into drunk. Dean watched over Sam’s shoulder as Charlie started eying a table of girls at the other side of the room who appeared to be having a girl’s night out. Then, Charlie stood up suddenly and started to sway before Novak took hold of her arm and steadied her.

“I’ll see you guys in a sec,” she said, smiling brightly. Novak looked like he was going to stop her for a moment, before sighing and letting her arm go and turning completely around in his chair so he could watch her. Sam did the same.

“Why would you let her walk over there?”

“Learning experiences are very important. I wouldn’t want to rob her of one.”

Sam turned to look at Dean.

“Are you going to stop her from embarrassing herself?”

“Nope.”

The three men watched as Charlie walked right up to a stunning blonde and tapped her on the shoulder. They could just barely make out what she was saying.

“Are you from Tennessee?”

“No, Charlie, please don’t,” Sam said already getting up to save her. The blonde across the room has already started laughing hysterically, but Charlie seemed determined to get the whole line out.

“Because you’re the only ten I-“

“Charlie, why don’t you and I go for a short walk,” Sam said, trying to pry her away. Blondie shook her head and pulled up a chair for Charlie, which had the redhead giving Sam a triumphant grin and sitting down quickly. Sam looked back at Dean and Novak for help, but it was clear neither of them were going to do anything, so he took the seat beside Charlie and was sucked into a conversation with the girl on the other side of him.

“He’s going to be there a while,” Dean said conversationally. Novak looked up.

“Why?”

“She just tried to give him her number, and he told her he had a girlfriend. Once Sam gets started talking about Eileen, he doesn’t really like to stop.”

Novak looked over and saw the slightly strained look on the face of the girl Sam was talking to.

“Poor girl.”

“Yep.”

Silence. Dean couldn’t really stand it. It wasn’t that he didn’t like quiet, that was fine, it was that he didn’t like empty space where he was sure words should be. He liked to fill it with something, anything to get rid of the space.

“So, just water, huh?”

“I don’t drink.”

“That’s not true.”

“I don’t drink most of the time then. That night was unplanned.”

“What did you have a drinking problem?” Dean asked, remembering that when Novak had been drunk, he’d insinuated that he could drink a lot more than he had. Novak shook his head.

“No, I just prefer to be alert at all times. Is it really necessary for us to talk?”

“Just making conversation.”

“I realize.”

Dean lasted a few more seconds before he broke.

“Look, Cas-“

“Hey,” said a voice from behind Novak. Novak spun around and met the eyes of a very pretty Asian girl with long straight black hair and hopeful eyes. “Your friend said you might like a drink?”

Novak looked over her shoulder and saw Charlie giving him a drunken thumb’s up. Dean had a feeling that this was the last time that Novak was going to agree to be her designated driver for a while. Especially since he had turned utterly confused in the space of a few seconds and still hadn’t spoken.

“Do you want a drink?” the girl tried again, sounding a lot less hopeful. That seemed to snap Novak out of it.

“No. Thank you, but no. I’m sorry for Charlie sending you over here.”

“Oh. Okay,” she said, making her way back to her table looking a little put out. Charlie looked like she might get up to talk to Cas, but got distracted by the blonde woman she had been flirting with at the last moment. Novak still looked incredibly nonplussed and Dean couldn’t help but start laughing.

“What’s so funny, Winchester?” he asked, glaring at Dean. Dean just started laughing harder.

“Nothing. Sorry man, it’s just your face when she came over here. Like no one had ever hit on you before.”

“I was in a committed relationship for fourteen years. I wore a ring for half of that time. I’m not used to strangers showing interest.”

“It’s just funny how tongue tied you got considering how bossy you are.”

Novak sucked in a breath before relaxing his shoulders and setting his jaw, as though preparing for a fight.

“If you’re talking about what I think you are, then my only response is someone had to take charge.”

“Is that a complaint?”

“No, that is a comment meant to injure your ego enough that you will stop bringing it up.”

Dean raised an eyebrow and Cas sighed before letting small reluctant smile of amusement crack through.

“C’mon man. Let’s just talk this through and get it all out there so we can get back to disliking everything about each other without all the awkwardness.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. We were both just placed in a high stress situation that was emotionally taxing, and we made a mistake. That’s all there is to it.”

“Great. Glad we agree with each other.”

And again that silence.

“So, have you ever… with a guy before?”

“That’s not really any of your business.”

“My bad. Sorry for asking.”

Novak looked him over a moment before relenting.

“Just Anna and Meg. So no. Do you want my social security next?”

“I was just wondering if that’s why you’ve been so mad at me the past few weeks. Some people get like that before they figure themselves out. Hell, I was like that when I was eighteen.”

“I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”

Dean stared back at his glass, and was seconds away from opening his mouth again when he was saved by Sam sitting down heavily next to him.

“I think Charlie’s doing okay,” he said, pointing back toward the table. Charlie and the blonde woman were currently kissing, so Dean guessed that Sam was right. He turned back around so he could order another drink, ignoring the face Sam made at him.

“I’m driving you home.”

“I walked here for a reason.”

“Well, it’s good to see you’re not all stupid.”

“You’re stupid, stupid.”

“Really Dean?”

“You started it. Besides, you might want to get a little drunker, too. It’s almost ten.”

Sam looked back at Dean wide eyed.

“You were actually serious about that?”

“Friday’s karaoke night. And Charlie promised to sing, too, so don’t think you’re getting out of it.”

Benny saw Dean motioning for him to give Sam a drink and poured out a whiskey. Sam drank it fairly quickly so that he wouldn’t have to sing in front of a ton of people sober. He had learned back in high school when he tried out for theater that he had a case of mild stage fright and had stuck to tech ever since his incredibly embarrassing audition for the lead in Little Shop of Horrors. Dean hadn’t stopped making fun of it for months. Luckily, Sam had discovered later in life that alcohol was an effective way to fight his nerves.

Once Lizzy started helping Anne set up karaoke, Dean went over to drag Charlie away from the table she had spent half the night at. Charlie pouted at first, but told Dean to wait a moment before writing her number down on a napkin and giving it to the other girl.

“Call me,” she said before Dean gave the table of girls a polite wave and took Charlie away from them.

“So, you want to do a duet?”

“Hell yeah, Winchester. I don’t know if I can carry a song alone right now.”

“Duet it is then. Pick your poison, Eye of the Tiger or Blank Space.”

“You mean the Taylor Swift song?”

“I’ll have you know that Taylor Swift is a very talented singer song writer.”

“You never cease to amaze, Dean. Let’s do that one then.”

“What, you don’t believe me?”

“Oh no, I believe you,” Charlie said with a smile. It went wider when she and Dean saw Sam was up first on the roster with All My Loving.

“Our mom loves the Beatles. We were practically raised on those songs,” Dean explained to Charlie after they had signed up and sat back down next to Novak, who despite Charlie poking in the side several times refused to participate in the singing. “Bet you ten dollars he mentions Eileen before singing.”

“You’re on,” Charlie said, having heard Dean tell her all about Sam’s stage fright.

Sam stood up in front of the crowd, and seemed to be at ease, which meant he must have had at least another drink since Dean had had to pry Charlie away from the other table, most of whom had left after the entertainment of a drunk girl hitting on their friend had disappeared. Sam took the microphone and was slurring just the slightest bit.

“This is for my girlfriend. I miss you,” Sam said into the microphone before the music started. A lot of the girls in the crowd made ‘awww’ noises. Dean reached out a hand and Charlie angrily paid up.

“Fuck you, Dean.”

“This is why you don’t make bets while intoxicated,” Novak pointed out. Charlie shot her partner a glare, to which Novak just rolled his eyes. Sam was warbling his way through. Dean knew for a fact he wasn’t the most terrible singer in the world from having had to listen to his brother sing along at the top of his lungs to his weird ass music when they were growing up, but with a couple of drinks in his system, Sam’s voice was shot to all hell, and it was very funny watching some of the people closer to the stage leaning over to check the screen with lyrics on it for how much longer Sam was going to be singing for. When Sam was finished he made his way back to the bar and covered his face in embarrassment.

“I’m done.”

“You only did one song,” Dean complained, doing his best not to laugh so he would have more material for messing with Sam later, but his brother just shook his head and let out a drunk laugh.

“Nope. I’m done. You and Charlie have got it.”

A few other people were before them, including a surprisingly well done cover of Illinois Blues by a woman named Billie that got a loud cheer from everyone at the bar. Charlie and Dean looked at each other and started laughing when they realized they were going to be up next. Of course they had to follow the person who was probably the best singer in the place.

“Hello,” Charlie said when she got the microphone in her hands. Dean grinned at the crowd and took his own microphone.

“This song is for Benny, light of my life,” Dean said, throwing an arm around Charlie’s shoulder and then pointing towards the bar, the microphone still in his hands.

“Shut up, asshole,” Benny called out with a good natured wave of his hand.

“Fine this song is for Lizzy, since Benny is being a jerk. Lizzy, you love me don’t you?”

“Sure thing,” she laughed, while Benny rolled his eyes and muttered something about being easy to replace. Then the music started up and Dean and Charlie had their eyes glued to the screen so they could sing the right words. They managed to make it through the opening without incident until Dean lowered his voice about two octaves to deliver the line “I can make the bad boys good for a weekend” at which point Charlie started laughing hysterically. She managed to get herself together in time for the chorus but they were singing in two very different keys and the entire song was a complete mess. Dean couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun.

The applause they got was lackluster, which just seemed to make Charlie and Dean laugh harder as they hugged each other before leaving the stage. Lizzy gave them both another drink on the house, and Benny stopped by to say he’d be billing them both for surgery on his ears.

“How’d I do, Cas?” Charlie asked her partner. He smiled at her and seemed to consider for a second before answering.

“It wasn’t the worst singing I’ve ever heard. Close, but-“

Novak stopped speaking when Charlie hit him in the side, but didn’t stop smiling at his partner. Dean figured it wasn’t so bad having Novak here, since Charlie seemed to like him so much. A little while later, Charlie and Novak left, mostly because Novak pointed out that they did still have to work tomorrow, even if they weren’t being called in quite as early as usual. Novak helped Charlie to her feet and asked Sam if they needed him to call a cab before Sam reassured him that he and Dean would probably just wait around a while and then walk back to Dean’s apartment to crash. Satisfied that no one would be driving under the influence, Novak left without any further goodbye.

******************

“Ugh,” Sam moaned, putting his hand over his face to block out the light from the window. Dean was whistling and making bacon, since he had come to the conclusion the best way to get rid of a hangover was the greasiest food you could find. “Could you not make high pitched noises right now?”

“Wow. How long has it been since you bothered to go out?” Dean asked, handing his brother half a plate of bacon which he turned his nose up at for the space of about two seconds before starting to attack the food.

“Y’know, unlike you,” Sam said, pausing to speak between bites of bacon. “I have two jobs. One of which is practically paying for our second job-“

“That’s not true. Jody pays us enough for me to keep up.”

“Yeah, well somehow fifteen percent of the money I make still somehow ends up going to you. I’ve actually looked into claiming you as a dependent on my taxes.”

“We’re family, Sammy. Let’s not talk about money after having an awesome night of karaoke.”

Sam groaned again and threw a pillow over his face.

“How bad was it?”

“You did fine Sam. Eileen thought it was really nice that you dedicated a song to her, by the way. And the best news is that she can’t even be turned off by your bad singing. Really, she’s perfect for you.”

“Wait, you’re texting Eileen?” Sam asked, a look of horror crossing his face.

“Of course I am. I can’t just let you date anybody. Luckily, she’s an upstanding chick. Way too good for you.”

“Thanks,” Sam mumbled sarcastically, the word coming out garbled through a mouthful of bacon. Dean took note so he could use this against his brother next time he reprimanded him for talking with his mouth full.

Right after that the phone started ringing, causing Sam to flinch and clutch at his head. Dean chuckled and picked the phone up after checking the caller ID.

“Hey Jody,” he said into the phone.

“Winchester, you busy?”

“Nope. Why, do you have a case for us?”

Most of the time, Dean just showed up at the police station and stood around until Jody assigned him to follow Novak and Charlie around on whatever case they were working on, and Dean convinced Sam to sneak out of work somehow. It was a good thing that Sam was so overqualified for his job, because there was no way he would be getting away with it if he wasn’t still outperforming most of the people at Sandover even with the much fewer hours he was working.

“Yep. Come on down and we’ll get you up to speed.”

“Awesome,” Dean said before hanging up. He passed his brother a shirt and some pants that had always been too big for him along with a bottle full of Advil. “I’m going to shave. Put on some clothes that don’t smell like you slept in an alley way, cause we have to head down to the station for a case.”

“Right now?” Sam asked, looking at his brother with pleading eyes. Dean nodded, and Sam sighed, definitely pissed off that he was going to have to act like he could function for the next few hours. Hopefully they wouldn’t have to deal with anyone too taxing.

**************

“You expect me to trust these two fools to protect me?” asked Marve St. Michael, looking Dean and Sam up and down. Dean had watched his show on occasion, though he happened to know that Sam had watched it religiously when he had been spending more time with Jess before their courtship had fizzled out. Which was probably why Sam was caught somewhere between excited to see the man in real life, and annoyed to be the subject of his criticism. “They’re wearing plaid.”

“Mr. Michael, I assure you that Sam and Dean Winchester have an excellent track record,” Jody said, clearly frustrated with the man in front of her. “And since you refuse police protection, these two men are the best you can get without agreeing to a full police detail.”

“As if I would trust the police,” Marve said, looking between Charlie and Jody with suspicion. “Someone here might be in on it. It isn’t as though we all haven’t heard about the two murderers you had working for you without anyone being the wiser. No offense, of course.”

“Oh, none taken,” Jody said, scrunching up her face in an annoyed expression. “You three are going to be going under cover in order to protect Mr. Michael here. Charlie is non-negotiable,” she said before Marve could protest.

“Did Novak not want in on the action?” Dean asked Charlie in an undertone.

“He called Marve a prick and then told Jody to find someone else to look after him,” Charlie whispered back. Dean made an impressed face at her and she shrugged, a smile playing on her lips. Well, if Novak was blunt and kind of an asshole, at least it was funny some of the time.

“Fine. How are we going to do this?” Marve asked. “I need them to blend in. I can’t just have three people following me around.”

“Stealth mission, huh?” Dean asked. “What’s the name of the show again?”

“American Duos,” Sam supplied instantly.

“Well, I think you’ve got your newest two contestants,” Dean said with a smile, looking over at Charlie. “Sam can be your assistant. He’ll make sure no one tries to stab you, or something.”

“No one has tried to stab me. There have just been so many accidents. It’s clear that someone has it out for me. If you really are psychic, you should be able to prevent me from coming to harm.”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got this.”

*****************

“Welcome to American Duos. I’m your host, Gabriel, and it’s time to meet your next contestants, Dean Winchestar and CC Berry. Alright, kiddos, let’s hear what you got.”

Charlie looked at Dean and then started on the song she had picked for them.

“I used to think maybe you loved me…”

“But now I am sure,” Dean sang, getting an elbow in the side, which let him know he’d probably gotten the words wrong. Maybe he should have looked them up before agreeing to sing it. He and Charlie kept mostly on track until they hit the chorus and then Dean could hear the notes begin to go off. Dean watched as Marve cringed and then stopped them.

The first one to speak was Daphne, who had a slightly glazed look on her face that indicated heavy drug use. Dean suspected it was mostly misused prescription pills due to the sound her bag made every time she moved it.

“I got to say that….” Daphne stared off into space for a few seconds before refocusing on them. “What was I saying?”

“Nobody knows, Daphne,” Gabriel quipped. “Let’s move on to our next judge, Raphael.”

“Well-“ Raphael started before Metatron interrupted him.

“That was incredible. The way you two played with the original notes was truly… unique,” he said, drawing astounded looks from the two judges next to him and Gabriel.

“For the folks at home, I think Marve has finally lost it,” Gabriel said speaking to the camera.

“Are you high?” Daphne asked, not seeming to get the irony in her question. “I’m voting no.”

“I’m voting yes,” Marve said.

“It all comes down to Raphael. What does he have to say?” said Gabriel. Raphael opened his mouth to speak but was quickly shut down by Marve.

“He says yes too. Congratulations you’ve made it to the second round.”

“That’s great. I’d like to thank my mom, and also God, but especially Satan because-“

Dean stopped mid sentence when he noticed the lights flickering. He glanced at Sam he was standing inconspicuously off to the side near Marve, and then his eyes shot up. Sam caught the movement and then tackled Marve off his chair before an entire light fell down right where he had been sitting, much to the astonishment of everyone working on the show.

Gabriel turned to look at the camera again.

“We’ll be right back.”

**************

“Did you see that?” Marve demanded Gabriel, who rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips.

“No, I didn’t see the light almost fall on you. Get a grip, Marve. You’re being paranoid. No one’s out to get you. Sometimes accidents happen.”

“These aren’t accidents!”

Dean stopped listening at this point, and made his way with Charlie back to the line where more contestants were waiting to go in. At the very front he spotted a familiar face.

“Hey. You’re Billie, right?” he asked. She nodded.

“Oh yes, I remember you. You were at Tommy’s bar,” she said, her voice smooth and controlled, with a hint of power behind it that only increased when she was singing. “How did you do?”

“We made it through,” Dean said proudly, looking at Charlie who was shrugging and looking away. Billie raised an eyebrow, the rest of her face entirely static.

“Good for you two. You must be better when you’re sober. No offense meant of course.”

“Nah, none taken. You’ve got this competition in the bag though if you’re partner is half as good as you are.”

“I don’t have a partner. I prerecorded my song so I only have to sing half of a duet.”

“Is that allowed?” Dean asked. Billie nodded, and then looked to where she was being called forward. “Good luck. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you two around.”

Dean watched as she walked away and then turned to Charlie.

“She did it.”

“Really? You’ve already got something? Usually it takes longer.”

“No, it’s not a vision, I’m just pretty sure she did it.”

Charlie rolled her eyes.

“It’s probably not a contestant. Whoever is putting together these accidents has to be here every week. There’ve been fifteen attacks in the six cities they’ve hit, and Santa Barbara is the last one before they start the main show.”

Charlie and Dean debated on who was most likely to want to kill Marve, a list which they decided should include everyone, when two contestants exited the door.

“Did you guys get through too?” asked a guy with a slight Southern accent and a wide smile.

“Yeah, we did,” Dean said, reaching out his hand to shake, and being surprised when he received a hug instead. “Uh, hi there. I’m Dean, this is CC.”

“Hi,” Charlie said, already being hugged by the man. “Nice to meet you,” she said, looking at Dean over his shoulder. Dean shrugged.

“I’m Garth. This here is Frank,” he said. “We just made it through. Marve said that we reminded him of the back end of an inbred rhinoceros, but we sang halfway decently.”

The smile never left Garth’s face.

“And you were okay with that?” Dean asked, exchanging a glance with Charlie.

“You kidding man? That was the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Garth said. Dean really couldn’t tell if he was joking. “I think this competition is going to be a real good thing.”

“Right. So how’d you two sons of a gun meet?” Dean asked conversationally, weirded out by the way Frank was frantically glancing around and staring at everyone he saw, muttering to himself.

“Oh, Frank. You wouldn’t believe it, it’s the darnedest thing. I work at the library and he always came out looking for the oddest books, and I know that place like the back of my hand, so I was usually the one who showed him around the place. One day he asked me what I thought about American Duos, and I said that I’d always wanted to try out, but I just couldn’t find someone to do it with me. Frank here thinks the judges are possessed by demons.”

“I’m going to exorcise them on live TV. Then everyone will finally know the truth,” Frank said, looking between Charlie and Dean suspiciously.

“It’s part of our song,” Garth continued cheerfully. “The Latin actually sounds really cool behind Evil Ways. Frank’s a good singer, so I figured why not go for it?”

“Yeah, why not?” Dean said, eyes wide. “Uh, good luck, guys.”

“You too, amigo,” Garth said before he and Frank walked off. Dean turned back to Charlie.

“I changed my mind. They did it.”

*****************

“Oh, thank God,” Sam said when Charlie and Dean went to meet him outside Marve’s trailer. “I don’t know how much more of that asshole I can stand. And you know what? I think I could handle the constant insults and demands if it wasn’t for the fact that Gabriel has been messing with me this entire time, too.”

“It’s just part of his gig Sam. I thought you watched this show.”

“Well it’s not funny when I’m the one he’s doing this shit to. I thought the pranks were scripted. I have had pudding thrown at me three times today. Three times, Dean!”

“Okay, Sam, don’t be an angry aardvark, it’s just until we solve the case. I’m sure you can handle a few pranks until then.”

“He drew on the back of my neck!”

Dean checked and started laughing when he saw that Gabriel had drawn a dick with a mustache.

“Good thing you have such long hair then. It covers it up. How did he manage to draw all of that?”

“Marve was yelling at me, and I thought he was just poking me with a stick or something, so I was trying to ignore him.”

“Sorry, one second,” Dean said snapping a picture and typing out a message. Sam saw what he had done and tried to take the phone from him, but it was too late.

“Who did you just send that to?” Sam demanded.

“Wait a second,” Dean said when he saw the scrolling dots that indicated someone was responding. He read the message and then burst out laughing.

“Eileen said if you got that tattooed on it’s a deal breaker.”

“I’m going to get you back for this.”

“Bring it on.”

Charlie tapped them both as Marve emerged from his trailer, dressed in a robe and holding a copy of Moby Dick under one hand. He glared at them all.

“I’m trying to get a little reading done, and it’s hard with all of you yelling outside my trailer.”

Dean noticed that Marve was breathing a little heavily. Since he didn’t appear to be at more than his usual level of irritation and there was no way he had been doing anything strenuous in his trailer it was instantly suspicious.

“Don’t go back in there,” Dean said when Marve went to go back in his trailer.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Marve answered snootily. Dean physically pulled him back and shut the door behind him.

“Your entire trailer is full of carbon monoxide.”

“What?” he asked, his expression instantly changing to extremely concerned. Sam caught him just before he fainted, though he didn’t look particularly happy about it. Dean took another picture and sent it to Eileen. She answered asking if she should be jealous with a smiley face. Dean informed a very annoyed Sam of this fact while Charlie called in the incident and the three made their way further from the gassed trailer.

*************

“Hey, Cas-“

“Yes, Alfie?” Castiel asked, looking up from the file Chief Mills had given him briefly as he made his way toward the interrogation room. The police station was packed to the brim full of young musical hopefuls, and Castiel was already about a mile past his limit on the amount of egos he could deal with at one time. Alfie flinched at his tone and Castiel reminded himself to be nicer to the man. “I’m sorry, what is it you want?”

“It’s just, you said you wanted everybody from the set to be here, right?”

“I did,” Castiel confirmed. Alfie paused for a second. “I really need to get to interrogating, so if there’s a problem, tell me now.”

“No problem, it’s just-“

Alfie stopped talking when Castiel opened the door to be greeted by three familiar faces.

“Hey Cassie!” Dean said. Castiel looked toward heaven and prayed for strength before sending Alfie away to get coffee so he could survive this nightmare.

“Why did they send you guys here?” he asked, eyes closed in consternation.

“We’re undercover,” Charlie said, which Cas already knew because he’d been paired with Alfie until she got back. “It’d be suspicious if we weren’t interviewed like everyone else.

“Plus we were there when the carbon monoxide poisoning happened,” Sam added.

“I think Charlie’s the murderer,” Dean said in a confidential whisper. Castiel looked between the three of them and then opened the door.

“Out.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Dean said before leaving with Charlie and Sam trailing behind him. Charlie at least had the decency to give him an apologetic shrug before leaving, which Cas supposed was the best she could do while undercover.

Castiel decided to start by interviewing the judges since they were the ones who spent the most time around Marve and were most likely to have some kind of grudge against him. Not that Castiel would rule out anyone on the scene of the crime. His commitment to doing his job as thoroughly as possible had only increased since the incident with Azazel, and the idea of not being able to save even the life of a waste of space like Marve filled Castiel with a kind of fear that he could never atone for what he had done.

“Alfie, send in the first judge.”

Raphael was an intimidating man, to say the least. He seemed to hold a lot of pent up anger and Castiel could see that he was very proud and took offense easily. However, he also didn’t seem like someone who was prone to planning, which the attempts at murder likely would have required. Raphael struck Castiel as the kind of man who would kill someone by hitting them over the head as opposed to funneling carbon monoxide into their trailer.

“So, have you noticed any strange behavior around Marve in the last few weeks? Anyone you think might want to do him harm?”

Raphael laughed quietly.

“I think the list of people who don’t want to do him harm would be shorter. It’s rather amazing the attention one gets from being controversial, isn’t it?”

Castiel narrowed his eyes, but nodded and sent for the next judge. He looked down at her file and then looked back up at the woman across from him.

“You have pretty eyes, you know that?” Daphne asked, clearly high on something. “Like, I could just swim in them.”

Alfie giggled a little in the back of the room, but stopped after a sharp look from Castiel.

“Do you know why you’re here today?” Castiel asked.

“Something to do with that asshole Marve,” Daphne said with a shrug, suddenly fascinated by her nails.

“Ms. Allen, you realize that you stand to gain a million dollars if this show has to cancel your contract, you have been recorded uttering death threats against Marve on the show, and you have on your criminal record that you once kidnapped a man for three days?”

“Okay, he was my cousin, and he wanted to join the cult I was in at the time. It was part of the initiation. That one’s not my fault,” Daphne said, seeming to sober slightly at the underlying accusation of Castiel’s speech. “Besides, I get paid way more for being on the show than I do if it gets canceled.”

“Then why can’t you explain where you’ve been for any of the attacks?” Castiel asked. He just got a wide eyed look as her eyes fell to her handbag and Castiel knew that the answer she wasn’t giving is that she likely rarely knew where she was. He sighed and then motioned with his hand for Alfie to open the door.

“You’re free to go for now,” he said.

“Sure you don’t want to cuff me?” Daphne asked.

“Next!” Cas yelled loudly, causing Daphne to scurry away. One of the next two men to be interrogated started talking about how he believed that the judges were being attacked by angels. Cas stared at the two of them listlessly and concluded that it was going to be a long day.

**************

“I need a safe place to stay,” Marve insisted to Jody for the umpteenth time.

“Your hotel room should be perfectly safe. We’ll have a full security detail on you at all times.”

“Like there was security around the set? If it wasn’t for that idiot psychic and his ridiculous little friends, I would be dead right now! I’m not going to risk putting my life in your hands again.”

Jody grit her teeth and called in the Winchesters and Charlie.

“It seems that Marve is having an issue trusting us,” she said, trying to maintain some kind of calm as she saw the man sneer. “Do any of you know some place he could stay the night without fearing for his life?”

Dean smirked, having come up with the perfect idea.

“I know just the place.”

***************

“This car makes me feel like I’ve been swallowed up by desperate white trash groupies.”

Sam watched as Dean’s mouth got smaller and smaller the longer they drove.

“This car makes me want to weep and then die.”

“Well, you know what buddy? The second part can be arranged,” Dean finally said, breaking whatever kind of dam he had been keeping up the entire ride. “This car is a fucking classic. Of all the things in the world that I consider beautiful, this car is at the top of the list. So, since I am doing you the favor of saving your life, I would shut the fuck up about this car.”

Marve was silent for the space of about five seconds.

“Are we there yet?”

“I’m going to kill him, Sam.”

“Hey, I’ve had to deal with this all day. Wait until he starts attacking you personally.”

“You two do know I can hear you, don’t you?” Marve asked.

Dean and Sam didn’t answer because they had just pulled into their dad’s driveway. He had bought their old house back about a week after the Azazel incident, and had only recently moved in. It was the perfect place for Marve to lay low without fear of being discovered and brutally killed. At least Dean assumed whoever was trying to kill him would be brutal, considering the man’s personality.

However, it was all worth it to see John Winchester and Marve St. Michael at each other’s throats.

***************

Castiel had just made it through the last interview when Jody Mills walked in with a very confused looking Daphne in tow.

“I already interviewed her.”

“New evidence came up. Turns out Daphne’s car was used to funnel the carbon monoxide into Marve’s trailer.”

“I didn’t do that,” Daphne insisted, her voice high pitched and panicky. Jody gave Castiel a look that said ‘You know what to do’. Castiel had really been looking forward to getting back to his apartment and relaxing with a book while Jo studied for law school. And now he had to stay here until he managed to get some useful information out of a drug addict. If he had ever been under the illusion that life was fair, he no longer was.

“Alright, Daphne. Did you attempt to kill Marve?” Castiel started. “If you confess, you’ll likely get a lighter sentence-“

“I didn’t do anything!” Daphne wailed, causing the head ache that Castiel had been developing all afternoon to intensify. “I had my car keys stolen days ago. I’ve been sleeping in my trailer. Ask Michelle, she’s my assistant. She keeps watch to make sure nothing happens to me.”

“Do you know who stole your car keys?” Castiel asked, hoping for a real lead. There was no way the woman in front of him had even the self awareness to plan out some kind of attack against Marve.

“No,” Daphne conceded. “I think it might have been the Devil.”

“What?”

“You know, with a scythe and long robes?” she said. Castiel stared.

“Do you mean the Grim Reaper?”

“Yes, exactly!” Daphne said, excited again. “Oh, you believe me don’t you, blue eyes?”

Daphne made a grab for Castiel’s hands which Castiel neatly avoided.

“Please do not touch me.”

“Why? I don’t see a wedding ring.”

“Do you see a tan line?” Castiel asked, instantly regretting it when Daphne’s eyes narrowed slightly and she leaned forward to show off her cleavage.

“Feeling a little lonely, baby?”

“Alfie, watch her while I talk to the chief,” Castiel said, leaving without saying another word. Alfie did a phenomenal job of keeping a straight face, for which Castiel was grateful. He wasn’t quite sure how he had earned the other cop’s admiration, but it was something that Castiel valued. He found Chief Mills quickly. “She didn’t do it. Someone stole her car keys and used the car to frame her. She wasn’t able to give an accurate description of who it was that stole her car keys, though she seems to have seen them do it.”

“Good work. Let her go and then you can head home for the night.”

“Can we lock her up anyway?”

Jody smiled and shook her head before a stern look went back on her face.

“Let her go. Get a good night’s sleep, you’ll have to be back at this tomorrow.”

**************

“Excuse me?” demanded John over a dinner he had cooked when Dean had said he and Sam would be coming over for dinner and convinced his father to keep a client of theirs at his house for safe keeping.

“You heard me. The marines are for pathetic, violent, unintelligent men who have nowhere else to go in life.”

“Oh, I can show you just how violent I can be,” John said, eyes flashing.

“Please. At least then I wouldn’t have to look at all of the fishing paraphernalia. It’s almost offensive how dull it all is. And why are there no books in the house? Do you even have the ability to read?”

“Listen here, you curly haired, smarmy looking freak. This is my home, and if you want to come here and disrespect it, I’ll have no problem sticking one of my ‘offensive’ fishing poles so far up your-“

“Dad,” Dean said, clearing his throat loudly. “Let’s go talk for a second.”

“What?” John demanded, the second they were out of earshot.

“You aren’t actually going stick a fishing pole up his ass?”

“Of course not, Dean. Not that I can’t find another way to teach that son of a bitch a lesson.”

“You need to calm down,” Dean said, trying not to let it show how funny he found it, seeing his dad frustrated like this, especially since for once his dad wasn’t frustrated at him. “It’s just until we solve the case.”

“Well, solve faster.”

“Okay, okay. Sam and I are going to head back to the station to see what’s up there. Try to keep him from dying until we get back.”

“No promises,” John said with a growl. “Where does he get off being all high and mighty anyway. What does he even do again?”

“He’s a judge for some American Idol knockoff,” Dean said with a shrug. A brief smile crept across John’s face, but it quickly turned back into a scowl. “Something funny?”

“No, just…” John paused for a second. “Just a happy memory. You and Sam get going. I’ll make sure this dick lives till morning.”

“Thanks for this. I owe you one,” Dean called over his shoulder after he had grabbed Sam and the two of them had started towards the front door. John nodded, taking a moment to try to remember where Mary had hidden that tape all those years ago before giving up and looking back towards his kitchen and resigning himself to his fate.

***************

When Castiel walked outside to see that someone had let the air out of his tires, his bad mood turned foul and he had to work to keep from cursing at the sight. He knew it was probably one of the contestants he had been rude to, but he couldn’t really see how a few harsh words justified this kind of reaction. He barely kept himself from cussing out Jo when she complained about having to pick him up from the station, since Charlie had left her car on set and was waiting for Dean to get back so she could have a ride there before going home. Dean and Sam pulled up and got out of the car so that they could check in with the Chief and catch up on the case. Charlie kept Castiel company as he waited for Jo to get there, but Castiel was called back into the station at the last minute so he could be updated on Marve’s current situation. Just after he had left, Jo pulled up to the station. She saw Charlie and got out to greet her, since they were fairly good friends and Charlie liked to spend time with Cas outside of work sometimes.

“Hey, Charlie. Or should I say CC Berry?”

“You saw?” Charlie asked. “How cringe worthy was it?”

“Not gonna lie, it was pretty bad,” Jo admitted. “Please don’t look up the audition tape on youtube. Some of the comments are pretty mean.”

“I have no idea how we’re supposed to make it through the next round if this case keeps up,” Charlie said. Jo looked at her thoughtfully before answering.

“You know Cas could probably help you guys. He did choir for forever when he was a kid.”

“Wait, Cas can sing?” Dean said, having reappeared with his brother next to Charlie and Jo. “I figured he was tone deaf or something, since he didn’t even do karaoke the other night.”

“Not wanting to make a fool of myself doesn’t mean I’m tone deaf, Winchester,” Cas responded, appearing out of the same door as the Winchesters just had. “Why are we discussing me again?”

Charlie looked at Jo and then back at Cas.

“Cas?” she said, her tone changing to the one she used when she really wanted to do something she knew Cas wouldn’t like. Cas was instantly suspicious. “Can you help us with our act for tomorrow?”

“No.”

“C’mon, please?”

“Charlie, I have spent the entirety of today interviewing a series of attention whores whose only goal in life is to reach a high enough level of fame that they never have to work again. I am exhausted, my head hurts, and I don’t want to do anything right now other than find a book and go to sleep.”

“But if we don’t do well, it’ll look really weird if we stay on the show!” Charlie said. “C’mon, you know Dean and I can’t stay serious for more than a few minutes at a time. We need someone like you to keep us focused. We can’t do this without you Cas.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Castiel said. Charlie slumped with a dejected sigh, and Castiel tried to ignore the sad look on her face, but he could already feel his resolve cracking. “Fine. I’ll help.”

“Thank you,” Charlie said, hugging Cas quickly before turning to Dean. “Ready for a working sleepover?”

“Sure,” Dean said, passing the car keys to Sam so he could drive himself home. “If Novak doesn’t mind.”

Castiel narrowed his eyes, letting Dean know as best as he could that if he elaborated, he was going to be kicked in the gut.

“I’m sure I can handle it.”

“Great. So what’s this about you being a choir boy?”

***************

It would almost be less annoying if Cas didn’t have a really great voice, Dean decided when he led them through another series of exercises to warm up their voices. Because at least then Dean could complain about Novak’s singing while they worked instead of listening to the clear notes pouring from the other man’s mouth. Dean wasn’t as bad a singer as he sometimes made himself out to be, but he certainly didn’t have the talent Novak did.

“Do you two know what song you’re going to sing?” Castiel asked when he was satisfied that their voices were warm or whatever it was he was doing.

“No,” Charlie and Dean said at the same time. Castiel sighed and held out his hand.

“Give me your phones. I’ll look for songs that will work for you two. I’ve heard you sing before, so I have some idea what would be suitable.”

Charlie and Dean both passed over their phones and had a short conversation about the new Superman movie before Novak declared that he was done and put forward a list of songs.

“Jesus Christ, Dean, do you listen to anyone from this century?” Charlie said when she looked down at the list of songs that Cas had picked from his phone.

“Hey, at least my taste in music is good,” Dean retorted while looking through Charlie’s list, which was strangely much shorter than his, though he figured out why pretty quickly. “What’s with all the mid tempo songs?” Dean asked Novak.

“Fast paced songs have less room for breathing. Slower paced songs expose flaws in your singing. It was a good compromise.”

“Well, we’re not doing one of Charlie’s songs,” Dean said, ignoring Charlie’s protests. “So you two can decide which of mine we do.”

Charlie seemed to figure that was an acceptable solution and ended up picking Wish You Were Here. After that Cas started by telling them that Dean would take the first verse and Charlie would take the second so they only had to work on singing together at the very end. Dean knew that usually there was a dance requirement, though he hadn’t actually bothered looking up the rules. Still, he and Charlie had a good time waltzing around during the instrumental parts of the song while Novak and Jo rolled their eyes at them. Jo was highly entertained by the entire process. Novak corrected each of them on their notes, and it was going alright until they started practicing the part they were supposed to sing together.

“Are you trying to mess this up?” Novak asked Dean when he’d missed the note for the third time they’d gone through it.

“No,” Dean answered, trying not to sound frustrated. Novak had them start that particular verse over again, but Novak stopped them almost instantly. “What now?”

“You need to breathe from your stomach.”

“You need to stop breathing down my fucking neck.”

“Hey, ladies,” Jo called out from where she was sitting on the couch. “Calm your tits.”

Novak relaxed his stance and turned away from Dean so he could talk to Charlie.

“That’s sounding better-“

“Un-fucking-believable. Do you just get a kick out of telling me I can’t do anything right?”

“Maybe if you would listen to a word I say, I wouldn’t have to constantly remind you what you need to do.”

Dean wasn’t sure how Novak managed to seem like he was hovering over him despite being an inch or two shorter. Still, he wasn’t backing down any time soon.

“Hey, assholes,” Charlie complained loudly from where she'd joined Jo on the couch. “If you want to take them out and measure, Jo and I can leave the room.”

Dean glanced over Novak’s shoulder, before managing a tight smile.

“I’ve got him beat by an inch or two, but he has a six pack, so I guess we’re even.”

Dean was shoved to the floor and hit his ass hard on the way down, but it was worth it to see unrestrained fury on Novak’s face.

“Alright, calm down,” Charlie said while running over to her partner and taking a hold of his arm, not understanding why Cas was so pissed off, much to his relief. “Maybe we should call it a night. Dean, since you decided to be a jerk, you get the floor and I get the couch.”

“He started it.”

“You continued it. Besides, are you really going to fight me for the couch?”

Dean thought about it.

“Nah.”

Novak and Jo disappeared to their own rooms and Charlie waited until she hard the familiar sound of Cas snoring from when she’d stayed over on other occasions to get away from her room mate. She turned to see Dean still awake, lying on a few cushions and blankets Jo had gotten out for him.

“I wish you wouldn’t be so mean to Cas,” she said quietly. “You’re not a bad guy and I like you a lot but… I just don’t get why you two hate each other so much. And he’s my partner, you know I have to take his side.”

Dean sighed and looked up toward the ceiling.

“I don’t hate him. He hates me.”

“Did something happen with Azazel?” Charlie asked after a few minutes had passed. “Did he do something to Cas that I don’t know about?”

“I don’t think so.”

“He never filled out the report. I wrote it up for him. I don’t even really know what happened.”

Novak shot a man and now he blames me for having to do it, Dean thought to himself.

“Shouldn’t you be asking Cas about this?” he said back instead. Charlie nodded, but looked like she wasn’t done talking.

“Azazel took him to a swimming pool.”

“Yeah, so?”

“I looked him up a while back, when we first met. You know, after I got kidnapped by Sinclair? His mom died in a river. Do you think that’s why he’s been so on edge lately? Can’t you read auras or something?” Charlie asked, still whispering. “I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

Dean hadn’t known. Suddenly the shell shocked look on Novak’s face made even more sense than it had at the time that Dean had found him, teetering over the edge of a diving board. Sure, Dean had figured it was just a side effect of expecting death, but if Cas’ mother had drowned, Azazel had likely done what he did to Cas on purpose. Just one more thing to add to the plate of shit that was messing Novak up.

“That’s one thing,” Dean whispered back at last. “But Novak’s tough. He’ll get through this. Isn’t he seeing someone for it? Didn’t Jody have him go to some kind of-“

“He doesn’t like her. He’s been skipping.”

Dean fell silent again and felt a kind of guilt building up inside his gut. At long last he spoke again.

“I’ll try to go easier on him, okay?”

“Thank you,” Charlie said, before turning over and quickly falling asleep. Dean stared up at the ceiling counting black specks in the uneven surface until he likewise slipped under.

***************

John Winchester dropped off an oddly silent Marve at the police station the next morning. He started complaining and generally being an ass as soon as John had driven away, but it was enough that rumors began to fly among the police officers, many of whom already considered John Winchester to be something of a legend. Dean wasn’t as impressed, since his dad hadn’t managed to silence Marve for good.

“Novak, Bradbury, Winchester, my office now,” Jody said. Sam left with Marve to go to the set as the other three filed their way into Jody’s office. “Daphne was found near death in her trailer last night by her assistant. She should make a full recovery and is in hospital as we speak. At first we thought it was some kind of overdose, but the toxicology reports came up odd and we now suspect whoever has been after Marve got to her as well.”

“It must be about her car keys. She must have said something important in interrogation,” Novak said instantly reviewing their conversation in his head. “She said something about black robes and a scythe. I thought it was just crazy talk, but…”

Dean felt a memory spark and remembered hearing snatches of a song from the day before. He knew just who had stolen Daphne’s car keys. But that didn’t explain it all. Some part was missing.

“Don’t Fear the Reaper,” Dean said out loud. “That woman, Billie, who sang a duet with herself, she did a cover of Don’t Fear the Reaper. Daphne must have remembered and twisted it around. Charlie, look her up for me.”

Charlie ran for her laptop and sat down before pulling up video of Billie singing and searching for other facial recognition hits. She had auditioned in each city, and been rejected each time except for the most recent. They had their girl.

“But why?” Charlie asked. “She didn’t really seem like the type to care whether someone made fun of her. And her voice is amazing.”

“She had to have been hired,” Dean said. “By someone who wanted him dead. Someone with money and power and something to gain.”

“Raphael,” Castiel said, snapping his fingers. “It had to have been Raphael. He’s the only one with enough access and information. Besides Gabriel, perhaps, but he didn’t seem to fit the psychology. Raphael would kill, I could tell, but the method seemed wrong. Since he’s hired someone else…”

“But what does he gain by killing Marve?” Charlie asked.

“Respect. Haven’t you watched the show since this case started? The man can barely get a word in despite the fact he’s the only judge who has ever actually been a musician,” Dean said excitedly. “Fuck yes, Novak. It was definitely him.”

Novak seemed surprised for a second at Dean’s response to him figuring out the culprit, but didn’t comment.

“So what do we do now?”

“Well, Charlie and I have a competition to go to,” Dean said.

***************

“You’ve got to change your evil ways, baby-“

“Omnus imundis esperitus-“

Garth and Frank were in the middle of their song when Dean and Charlie crashed onto the stage, knocking over part of the cheaply made set. The music stopped.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Charlie said, giving the camera a little wave.

“We just thought you should know that someone you all know and love is a dirty, dirty murderer,” Dean added.

“Okay, now listen y’all, Frank never murdered anybody. The holes in his lawn are because he forgot where he buried his granddaddy’s money,” Garth said.

“We’re not talking about Frank,” Dean reassured him, hoping that somebody checked out Frank’s house after this was all over. “We’re talking about who’s been trying to kill Marve for the past few weeks.”

Novak and Chief Mills walked in with a calmly cuffed Billie, who seemed more amused than threatened to have been arrested. Dean doubted any prison would be able to hold her long. Something about her demeanor was just so unaffected by the changing circumstances around her that he couldn’t think of her in any other terms besides powerful and terrifying.

“Billie here tried out in every city so she would have as many chances as possible to take you out.”

“What is she, a crazed fan?” Marve asked looking her up and down in confusion.

“Actually, she’s an assassin. And she was hired by none other than Raphael.”

The camera man, who had decided to follow the action, turned the camera to Raphael, whose expression didn’t change.

“That’s impossible,” Marve said with a laugh. “Raphael barely has a brain cell to spare for breathing. He can’t have done this. Are you sure it wasn’t Gabriel? Now him, I’d like to see behind bars.”

“Eat a bag of a dicks, Marve,” Gabriel said with a wink. Raphael looked around him before quietly standing and turning toward Marve.

“I didn’t want to have to do this myself, but you haven’t left me much choice,” he said before lifting up a chair so he could brain Marve. He was stopped when Alfie, who had accompanied Sam to set to look after Marve, tackled Raphael to the ground and cuffed him. Marve started laughing.

“You imbecile. How many chances have you had to kill me, after all these years, and you couldn’t even manage it? God, this has just made my day,” he finished with a chuckle. “Well the show must go on. Whose next?”

***********

“Are you two ready?” Castiel asked after having led Charlie and Dean through vocal warm ups again after some well timed pleading from Charlie. Both of them nodded. “So I told them to stop the song right as the lyrics stop. You have three minutes to impress him. Scratch that, you have three minutes to impress the audience, he’s going to hate you no matter what.”

“Thanks for the pep talk, Cas,” Dean muttered. “Really feeling inspired.”

“What, did you want me to lie?”

“No fighting,” Charlie said reaching out her hand. “Say go team on three. One… two… three.”

Dean and Charlie yelled out ‘Go team’ while Cas rolled his eyes and said it at a normal volume. Charlie decided she’d take it. Castiel smiled at her and patted her on the back.

“Good luck out there.”

“Thanks Cas,” she said. Cas cleared his throat.

“You too, Dean.”

“Don’t need luck,” Dean said flippantly. “I just need to breathe from my belly, right? See, I listen.”

Cas laughed a little at that and then went through a small exit so he could watch them from the audience. The music started and Dean and Charlie waltzed their way out and Dean led her through the first minute of the song and then twirled her around so she landed in front of her microphone right as he began to sing the first verse.

“So, so you think you can tell  
Heaven from Hell,  
Blue skies from pain.  
Can you tell a green field  
From a cold steel rail?  
A smile from a veil?  
Do you think you can tell?”

Charlie started up her verse after that, hitting almost every note just as Cas had taught her.

“Did they get you to trade  
Your heroes for ghosts?  
Hot ashes for trees?  
Hot air for a cool breeze?  
Cold comfort for change?  
And did you exchange  
A walk on part in the war  
For a lead role in a cage?”

After that there was music again for a while, and Dean led Charlie back into a waltz. He supposed he would have to thank Lisa next time he saw her for making him take a dance class with her back in high school, because he wasn’t half bad at it. Charlie was good at moving too, though it was pretty clear that without someone leading she wouldn’t have any idea what steps to do. Still it worked, and Dean dipped her right before the last verse, causing Charlie to giggle a little. The last verse they just looked at each other and it was like they were back at karaoke, two friends having the time of their lives probably making a fool of themselves. Dean did his best to hit the notes for Cas’ sake, but mostly he was just having a great time with Charlie.

“How I wish, how I wish you were here.  
We're just two lost souls  
Swimming in a fish bowl,  
Year after year,  
Running over the same old ground.  
What have we found?  
The same old fears.  
Wish you were here.”

“Well folks, that was Dean Winchestar and CC Berry with Wish You Were Here,” Gabriel said. Before he had spoken there had been a heavy kind of silence that came from the music ending the second the lyrics did, and Dean had to admit that Cas timing the music that way had its intended effect. Everyone had held their breath as though waiting for more, and then jumped up and cheered. Dean and Charlie grinned at each other, feeling high off of the crowd. “Let’s see what our only remaining judge thinks.”

Marve waited until the crowd had calmed entirely down before speaking.

“That may be the worst cover I have ever heard of that song. You two make me want to lock myself in a room and cry until I fall asleep after having heard how utterly you destroyed it. Please do the world a favor and never, ever sing in public again.”

There was complete silence for a moment before a familiar deep voice yelled out.

“Prick.”

The rest of the place soon filled with boos, and Dean and Charlie laughed their way off stage. Cas met them there and offered to drive them back to the station, since Sam had left as soon as he could get away from Marve and Alfie had managed to get someone to fix Cas' car the night before. Dean didn't blame Sam for leaking since he knew that Eileen had told him she’d try to find a time to call that night, so it made sense he’d skedaddle. Charlie said that she would take her car from the station to go home, and Cas said he could take Dean back to his place, if he needed.

Once they were back at the police station, Jody debriefed them all and told them good job on the case. After that, Castiel told Dean that he just needed to change and then they could leave. To Cas’ surprise, Dean followed him into the locker room.

“Enjoying the free show?” Cas asked sarcastically.

“Maybe.”

“What is it you want?”

“When you drop me off at my place, you want to come up for a cup of coffee?”

Cas pulled on his t-shirt before looking at Dean, who was leaned up against the lockers at the other side of the room.

“You say coffee, but I have the oddest feeling you’re asking me if I want to have sex with you again.”

“No, I’m just talking about coffee. See being psychic has its perks, because I know just how you like yours. Hot, black, and Brazilian, which coincidentally is how I like my pornography.”

Cas fiddled with his phone for a few seconds before facing Dean.

“What makes you think I’d be interested in coffee?”

“Call it a feeling.”

“Cut the bullshit, Dean.”

Dean nodded for a second and seemed to be focusing for a moment before meeting Cas’ eyes again.

“Well for one thing your pupils have dilated since we started this conversation.”

“Perhaps the lighting has changed.”

“You keep twitching your wrist, which is a classic strategy to redirect blood flow.”

“And a nervous habit.”

“And you just texted Jo not to wait up for you.”

Cas paused for a second.

“You can read upside down that quickly?”

Actually Dean had just pictured where Cas’ fingers had landed on the screen and superimposed it over a keyboard in his head, but Cas didn’t need to know that so he just shrugged.

“So. Coffee?”

“This stays between us, right?” Castiel asked, furrowing his brow and looking indecisive. Dean nodded and Castiel’s expression cleared, smoothing over into its usual resting expression. “Alright, let’s go.”

Cas walked out quickly and Dean followed him. Right as they exited, Charlie emerged from around the corner she had ducked into when she had come in to ask Cas a question and had heard him say that he and Dean had had sex before.

“Holy shit,” she breathed out in bewilderment when she was absolutely sure they were gone.

**Author's Note:**

> So I have a few ideas for what I might write next, and I'd love to get a feel for what people might be into. Some things I was considering was an entire episode that is mostly from minor character's points of view: Jody, John, Alfie etc. Another idea I had was righting sort of in-between episodes short about a Mary, Mildred, and Eileen team up for a CIA case. Other than that, if there are any particular episodes you really liked and want me to do a supernatural version of, let me know.


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